Sunday, January 8, 2012

1 - Ugly parents

Yelling is ugly.  I don't like being yelled at, and I don't like doing it.  Either way, it feels yucky, and the only feeling that remains is guilt if I've dished it out, or disrespect (and a strongly dislike) towards the yeller, if I'm the recipient.  I'm pretty sure that feeling is the same, regardless of age.
But, I do it.  I wanted to say, "doesn't everybody?"  But, I stopped myself, because I don't want to 'make it OK'.  I don't care if everyone does.  I would like not to.

Like I was saying, I do it, not regularly, but when it happens, I've ruined my own day.  I call it a bad mommy day.  But, I've figured out how to make the bad mommy days go away, so I thought I would share:

1.) Just like my children when they can't control their emotions, I'm probably not getting enough sleep.  So, go to bed earlier.  Take an Ambien if necessary.  Get some sleep.

2.) I need to review my Love and Logic DVD (I have the books too, but, it sure is nice getting all the most important information in just a few short hours).  Suddenly, what to do about whining kids, arguing, kids who won't pick up their toys, and picky eaters is crystal clear.  Easier said than done, I'll admit, but clear.  And once it's clear, it's less frustrating.  No biggie.  No yelling.

I've found that brainwashing myself with how to be a good parent can actually overcome the lack of sleep, which is helpful, since, after all, I have 3 young children, a variety of animals, a husband, a house to clean, mail to sort, coupons to clip, a garden to weed, emails to check, and so on and so on.

Good parenting takes some thought.  Some planning even.  Some effort.  But, I don't think lazy parents make very good parents, and I like to be a good parent.

"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty... I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
-- Theodore Roosevelt

And the brilliance of the Love and Logic approach is that the difficulties become your childrens', for them to overcome.  They are better people because of it.  I bet the Love and Logic people are Teddy fans.

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